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Lesson 8 from ten years in business
This one is simple. And I mean that genuinely, not as a setup for something complicated.
We are not meant to do business alone.
I know that might sound a little soft for a business lesson. Bear with me.
What community is not
We often mistake networking for community in business, a blending of the two that I believe does a disservice to both concepts.
Networking, at its worst, is transactional. It is the room full of people exchanging business cards and mentally calculating whether the person in front of them is useful. It is the LinkedIn connection request from someone you have never met who immediately sends you a pitch. It is the relationship that only exists because one or both parties thinks the other one might be worth something someday.
That is not community. That is a marketplace with better lighting.
Real community is something different. It is the people who check in when things are hard, not because they need something from you, but because they actually care how you are going. It is the peer who tells you honestly when they think you are making a mistake. It is the group of business owners who share knowledge, refer clients to each other, and celebrate each other's wins without keeping score.
It is relationships built on genuine care rather than calculated exchange.
What ten years taught me about this
The best parts of ten years in business have not been campaigns or revenue milestones or the projects I am most proud of professionally.
They have been the people.
The conversations that went longer than they were supposed to because something important came up. The people who showed up in difficult moments without being asked. The clients who became genuine connections and friends. The collaborators who pushed my thinking and trusted me to push theirs.
Those things do not show up on a balance sheet. But they are, without question, the most valuable things I have accumulated in ten years of running Starfish.
And beyond the personal value of those relationships, there is a business case for community that I think gets underestimated.
When you are genuinely embedded in a community of good businesses, your thinking sharpens. Your standards lift. You get access to perspectives and experiences and knowledge that you simply cannot generate on your own. You refer and get referred, not because you have a formal agreement, but because you trust each other and want each other to succeed.
That is not soft. That is genuinely good for business.
The ripple effect
There is something I believe quite deeply about small business community, and it connects back to the whole reason Starfish exists.
When one business in a community does well, it ripples. The successful business hires people, or refers clients, or invests in other local businesses, or simply demonstrates that it is possible to build something good and sustainable in a particular place or industry. That ripple spreads further than most business owners realise.
And when a community of businesses supports each other genuinely, those ripples multiply. Strong businesses create strong communities. Strong communities create the conditions for more strong businesses.
That is not a coincidence. It is how it works.
Small actions that have real impact. That is the starfish story in real life, and it is the thing that keeps me most motivated about the work I do.
What genuine community looks like in practice
Community does not require a formal group, a membership, or a weekly meeting, although those things can help. It starts with a shift in how you approach other businesses.
Are you rooting for them? Do you want them to succeed, not because it benefits you, but because you genuinely care about the people behind them and the communities they are part of? Are you willing to share knowledge, make introductions, and show up for people without keeping a running tally of what you are owed?
That orientation, more than any particular structure or format, is what community actually is.
How to actually build community
- Invest in a small number of relationships properly. Community does not require a vast network. It requires genuine connection with people you actually trust and care about. Focus on depth over breadth. A handful of real relationships will do more for your business and your wellbeing than hundreds of superficial ones.
- Show up consistently, not just when you need something. The businesses that build genuine community are the ones that are present and engaged when there is nothing immediate to gain. Comment on the content, make the introduction and check in on the person who has gone quiet. Consistency over time is what turns acquaintance into community.
- Share generously. Knowledge, introductions, referrals, and opportunities. The instinct to protect what you know and hoard what you have access to is understandable, but it is also a very effective way to stay isolated. The businesses that share generously tend to find that generosity comes back to them, not always from the same direction, but reliably over time.
- Be honest with the people in your community. Genuine community requires genuine communication. That means being willing to have an honest conversation, to tell someone when you think they are heading in the wrong direction, to ask for help when you actually need it rather than pretending you’ve got this. Honesty is what makes community real rather than just pleasant.
Your action this week
Think about one person in your business community who you have not reached out to in a while. Not because you need something, just because you value the connection.
Reach out this week with a message, a coffee, or a quick call. And with no agenda, just genuine connection.
See how that feels, and notice what comes from it.
One of the things I love most about being a marketing consultant in Albury Wodonga is being part of a business community that genuinely wants to see others do well.
If you are looking for a marketing partner who is actually invested in your business doing well, I would love to have that conversation. Get in touch here.
This is part of a series expanding on the lessons from ten years of running Starfish.
Lesson 1: Do what you say you will
Lesson 2: Do not put a lit pipe in your pocket
Lesson 3: Empathy can be learned
Lesson 4: Different is not evil
Lesson 5: Curiosity beats assumption
Lesson 6: You Do Not Have To Agree, But You Do Have To Listen
Lesson 7: Thinking differently is the point
Next up: Lesson 9, collaboration will always beat competition.
Frequently Asked Questions about building a community
What is the difference between networking and community in business? Networking tends to be transactional by design. It is about making connections that might be useful, exchanging information, and building a contact list. Community is something deeper. It is about genuine relationships built on mutual care and shared standards, where people support each other not because of what they might get in return but because they actually want each other to succeed. The practical difference shows up over time. Networks tend to be relatively shallow and often fade when there is nothing immediate to gain. Communities tend to be durable, reciprocal, and genuinely valuable in ways that are harder to quantify but impossible to miss.
How do you build a genuine business community rather than just a network? It starts with orientation. If you approach other businesses primarily as potential clients, referrers, or competitors, you will build a network. If you approach them as people whose success you actually care about, you will build community. From there it is about consistency, showing up when there is nothing to gain, sharing generously, being honest, and investing in a smaller number of relationships properly rather than spreading yourself thinly across a large number of superficial ones. Community is built slowly and requires genuine care. There is no shortcut to it, but it is worth considerably more than the faster alternative.
Why is community particularly important for small business owners? Small business ownership can be genuinely isolating. Decisions land with you alone. The wins and the losses are personal in a way that is hard to explain to people who have not experienced it. Having a community of people who understand that context, who you can be honest with about the hard parts as well as the good parts, and who are genuinely invested in your success, makes a significant difference to both the experience of running a business and the quality of the decisions you make. Beyond the personal value, community also creates practical benefits including referrals, shared knowledge, collaborative opportunities, and the kind of honest feedback that is very hard to get anywhere else.
